That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
