i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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