I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we made out on top of his cat.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
