i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
