I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize