My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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