I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize