that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
