Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
