why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
