even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
