I'm really into asian looking animals
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's blow job season.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
