make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
