Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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