It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
