I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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