My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
