the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
