I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
