I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
