Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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