is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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