What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
