wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
