We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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