my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
