There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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