Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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