He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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