before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
