Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
