every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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