I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
