it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
