I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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