he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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