To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
