Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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