either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
