We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
