If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize