I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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