...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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