Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
