she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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