i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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