Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
