my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
