You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
