I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
