i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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