If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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