You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
