Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
