You really coming over, don't trick.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
