Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my poor anus
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
