So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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