i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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