I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
