just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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