The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize