dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
