my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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