Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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