so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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