He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
