Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
