You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
