I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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