Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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