so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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