Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm too high and old for this...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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